Daily Joke
A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Oh, damn it," he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!"
Mark My Words Miscellaneous Jokes
Related Jokes
Q: What do you call a Mexican baby? A: A paragraph because it's too small to be an essay.
Q: Imagine you're trapped in a box. There aren't any holes are objects in it besides you. How do you get out?
A: Stop imagining!
What's six inches long and has nuts?

Almond Joy
What's black, white, and red all over?

A nun falling down the stairs.
masterrabb... Miscellaneous Jokes
A priest, a nun and a hooker walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, a joke?"
opsgulyaa1 Miscellaneous Jokes
I was recently charged with domestic violence and I won. It's safe to say I beat that. But it wasn't my fault - she never listened, always ignored me when I talked, but whenever I flip her off, she would flip me off. That's the last time I date a deaf girl...
A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful. "Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender. "Who gave those beauties to you?" "Nobody gave them to me," said Sam. "I had to fight like crazy for both of them."
I have a mind like a steel trap, which can be dangerous.
Every time I get an idea, it snaps my neck and swallows my face.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
What's the difference between a Nazi salute and a gay guy? A 45 degree angle.