Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
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If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
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Did you know there's a speed limit for sex? When you hit 69, you have to flip a you turn.
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Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!
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"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Do you want 2 CDs?"
"Do you want 2 CD's who?"
"Do you want 2 C Deez nutz?"
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A man is like a snowstorm. You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.
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Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?
A: Because they found out by dragging them by their legs that their hole would fill up with mud.
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After fighting some crime, Superman wanted to score some action. He flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was available. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs wide open. Superman thought to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet; I could be in there, have sex, and be out again before she knew what happened." So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily. Meanwhile back on the bed, Wonder Woman asked, "Did you hear something?" "No!" said the Invisible Man, "But my ass sure hurts like hell!"
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A woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
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Q: What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? A: Where you put the cucumber.
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Q: Why is Cinderella still a virgin?
A: Because she runs away from all the balls.
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