A man calls 911 and says, "I think my wife is dead." The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
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What is it called if two people in wheelchairs are having oral sex?

Meals on wheels.
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A man walks into a pub and asks for 12 shots of vodka. The barman says, "Wow, 12. Are you celebrating?" The man replies, "I've just experienced my first blow job." The barman says, "That's brilliant. Let me get you another one on the house." The man replies, "No, that's okay. If the twelfth one doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will."
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"Boob" is the perfect word. "B" looks like a birds-eye view of them, "oo" look like them face on, and "b" looks like it from the side!
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A little boy and girl are sitting in a bathtub together. The girl looks down and asks, "Can I touch it?" The boy replies, "No, you already broke yours off!"
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Q: Have you heard about that blind hooker?
A: You've gotta hand it to her!
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Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a stroke and the third couldn't reach.
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One day, little Suzie and her mom are walking down a beach when they see a couple having sex. Little Suzie asks her mother, "What are they doing?" And her mother replies, "They're baking a cake" so that she doesn't have to explain sex to little Suzie.

Later that day, after mom has tucked little Suzie into bed, little Suzie's dad comes home. Mom and dad decide to have sex on the couch.

The next morning, little Suzie goes up to mom and asks, "Mommy, were you and daddy baking a cake last night?"

Mom replies, "Yes we were, Suzie. How did you know?"

Suzie replies, "Cause I saw some icing on the couch."
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What's green, slimy, and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
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Three potatoes are standing on a corner. Which one is the prostitute? The one saying, "I-DA-HO."
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Two gay guys are sitting at a little pub looking out the window in a small town. This guy walks by, and the one guy says to the other, "Who is that?" The other man says, "That's the new proctologist." He replies, "Well, I've got to meet him." The next day, he makes an appointment and goes in to see him. The doctor asks him, "What's the problem?" and he replies, "I have a terrible pain in my butt." The doctor says, "Well, let's take a look at it." So he bends over, and the doctor gets down to look in his ass, and he says, "Oh My God! There's a stick up your ass." The gay man then says, "Well, pull it out, pull it out! So he start to pull it out, and notices that it has thorns on it. "Oh my God! There are thorns on it? Well, pull it out, pull it out!" As he pulls it out, he see it's a rose. "Oh my God! It's a rose!" As the gay man exclaims, "Well, read the card, read the card!"
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