Why can't you hear rabbits making love? Because they have cotton balls.
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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some marijuana.
Jack and Jill slipped down the hill and asked Jill if she wanna.
She said "Yes" and dropped her dress and had a little fun.
Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son.
SexyDude Sex Jokes
Three guys survive a plane crash in the desert. They wander for days, starving and thirsty. They finally come across a lone house and knock on the door, desperate for help. A crusty old lady answers, and says she'd be happy to help if one of them will agree to satisfy her sexually first. After a quick discussion, one of the guys decides to take one for the team. He walks in to her bedroom while the other two wait outside the house. He tells her to close her eyes and open her legs. He quickly runs to the kitchen and grabs the first penis-shaped thing he can find, an ear of corn. He shoves it in her, and throws it out the window. Grabs another, rams it in and throws it out the window. She is finally satisfied and agrees to cook for them. He goes outside to get his friends, and they exclaim, "We're actually not hungry anymore. We just ate some delicious, buttery corn on the cob!"
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Yesterday my sister and her boyfriend had an accident in the car. They called her Maggie.
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Research shows that 80% of men don’t know how to use condoms. These men are called dads.
Paul Beisner Sex Jokes
What's better than roses in your piano? Tulips in your organ!
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Two guys are at a bar. One of them looks to the other and says, "I had the best time last night. I had sex with twins!" The other asks, "How could you tell them apart?" "Well, Jessica had long, beautiful, blonde hair, and Alex had a goatee."
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Girl: "Can you use 'Mountain Dew' in a sentence?"
Guy: "Yes, can I 'mount-ain dew' you?"
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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You won't cry when you're cutting up the hooker.
Konigsberg Sex Jokes
A 96-year old man is pleading with the doctor for a lower sex drive. "Surely you're imagining things," says the doctor. "You're 96 years old. Isn't all the feeling for sex just in your head?" "Yes," replies the elderly man, "that's why I want you to lower my sex drive to the place where it might do more good."
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My boyfriend wants to have a threesome. So I told him when cloning is legal, then he can have one.
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